Dear Single People:
I want you to know that one of the greatest joys of my life is to write about the joys and trials of the single life. I love having conversations with other single people about all things single. This hasn’t changed even though I am now have a boyfriend. Many people have asked me why I continue to write. Here’s a little history of how this passion began and why I continue:
Three years ago I noticed a pattern in the way that I spoke about being single and I noticed that other single people seemed to be cut from the same mental cloth. When people spoke, I began to hear a common theme of loss: loss of dreams, loss of hope, loss of expectations. And what was more, I began to hear others express (and what I would sometimes feel myself as being) an overall sense of lack in relation to being single.
Two years ago, I thought about writing those thoughts down. The market has tons of books that will tell single people to focus on Jesus and just enjoy the season that they are in. In the arena of singleness, this society is proficient in promoting contentment but I couldn’t find anyone who would speak to the fact that amidst the gratitude and contentment, there also remains a longing for a mental, spiritual and physical connection with another human being.
Last year, I actually started writing about it. My aim was and is to speak from the heart of the unmet hopes and dreams inside us. While many people are quick to tell singles how they should feel, I want to skip those “pep talks” and give voice to some of the fears and emotions that are rarely acknowledged. The goal is not to wallow; the goal is to give value to the parts of our experience we are told to overlook and pretend don’t exist. But they do exist. And so I write about them.
Last December, I wrote a blog called ‘Tis the Season’ which talked about there being an entire season of life that heightens your awareness of being single. That season starts on Thanksgiving and ends on Valentine’s Day. During this time, there seems to be more couples and babies out in the streets and, God bless them, more family members reminding you of how you have let them down by not being married and having kids of your own.
It was my plan to do the start up blog (‘Tis the Season) and then around Valentine’s Day post the finishing touch to Singles Awareness Season (Hope in the Midst of Disappointment). This plan began to take place last Fall. In the midst of posting these two particular blogs, I began dating the love of my life. So when I posted Hope in the Midst of Disappointment, people who knew I had a boyfriend assumed I broke up with him. I did not. I am not. He’s a keeper!
Many people would tell me that the natural progression is for me to blog about dating but I’m not ready for that. My relationship status has changed but my desire to speak about the single experience has not. Perhaps until I’ve said everything I know to say about it, I won’t be done. So Dear Single People: I’m still here thinking & feeling and writing about it.